Friday, April 21, 2006

Hard Drive

My hard drive crashed. I still haven't gotten a new one. I think it had something to do with the fact that Catholics are praying in Latin. That, and its really really hot down here, which can't be good for a computer either.

On to some mail:

Who is your favorite 20th century Pope?

Anonymous,
Anonymous, AN


First off Mr. Anonysuck, where is my title? Second off, how am I supposed to make fun of you or your city of residence if you don't leave it?

Onto your rather dimwitted question. I mean, seriously, thats like asking Skeletor who his favorite He-Man is. Or that evil transformer guy who his favorite Optimus Prime is. Or John Kerry who his favorite Smart Person is. I would say my favorite pope is this guy. I mean, seriously, this is some funny stuff. He even has his own encyclicals. Its like watching a child play Mass or something. Only this is much more pathetic, and not nearly as scary for me to watch.

Prince of Darkness and All That Crawls Loathesomely Upon the Earth,

Re: Danny Garland's comment. I never thought I'd make a deal with the Devil, but could you please smite him?

See you at the 161st Street stop on the "D" train,
The Digital Hairshirt

Mr. Shirt,

Way to address me! Mr. Anonymous should take some serious notes. You even got my favorite mode of transportation correct. Its not like I have to take the train. After all, I don't have a body or anything. But for every reason John rocker didn't like it, I ride it.

I immediately tried to honor your request of smiting someone, especially a Red Sox fan, but it was strange. It was like something much more powerful than me was stopping it. I wanted to smite him, but due to the fact of his Red Soxiness (or maybe his Red Sucksiness), I don't think God would let me. I mean, I put in a good effort, but unfortunately that Spirit of Truth thing out lasted me. Sorry.

29 Comments:

Blogger DigiHairshirt said...

O Lord of Falsehood and Paramour of Hillary (How Else Can She Get the Nomination for '08?):

Well, at least the ANGELS are leading in the West. However, as a displaced Bronx chick (that's MRS. Shirt to you, thou infernal nimrod) who lives in the O.C. and cheers for the Angels when they aren't playing the Yankees, is it YOU who caused Arte Moreno to change the geographic designation of the team?!

They play in Anaheim, they started in Anaheim, and they will remain in our hearts the Anaheim Angels.

Let L.A. keep the Dodgers and Roger Mahoney.

Cruising the 57 past the Big A with a Rosary Swinging From the Rearview Mirror,
The Digital Hairshirt

9:19 AM  
Anonymous CaesarMagnus said...

Your Evil Suckiness,
(Sucking down Martinis, that is)

Either you got your harddrive back in order, or you are too bored while waiting for it to be fixed, anyway, I am not happy that you have pulled Cardinal Martini out of retirement.

God Bless,
CaesarMagnus

Go Rangers, beat the Devils!

7:42 AM  
Blogger Ma Beck said...

Nice try Sunday bringing in all the folks from suburbia to my parish to see their nieces, nephews, cousins et al receive First Communion.
Their blabbing before Mass, inappropriate dress, and odd looks they gave those of us in the Confession line were mildly irritating. Just like you planned.
Ah, well. I added some extra prayers for them all,(and for myself) basked in the Divine Mercy, and, Deo Gratias, they all went back to the 'burbs until next year.
So I guess we're back to status quo.
Ite, comment est.

2:30 PM  
Anonymous Pikop Andropov said...

Second stringer,

I thought I was the only one to have found the site of Pope Michael, (a friend, probably working for you sent it to me thinking I'd have a laugh, I did.)It's nice to know that he's had at least three hits on his site.

Enjoy the new blogand give my best to Wormwood and Screwtape

3:21 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

Dear Father of Lies,

I couldn't help but notice you are a little short in the friends department. I was wondering how you would characterize this fellow: Spong

On the surface it seems he's right down your alley. On the other hand it's folks like him that are sending so many folks like me into the arms of the Catholic Church which has to make your skin crawl. So what is it friend or foe?

moving to Rome,

Jim

10:18 AM  
Blogger Ma Beck said...

Jim,
Don't think for a second that 'Bub is 'short on friends'.
He's looooong on friends, which is the root of the mess in which we find ourselves these days.
He's just short on 'Friends To Whom he Has Linked on his Blog'.
;)
P.S. Welcome home to Rome, brother.

12:16 PM  
Blogger Danny Garland Jr. said...

Jim,
I'd say that Jack Spong is probably one of Satan's top officials!

There is also a guy that I'm pretty sure is on his payroll as well. He is the Ethics Professor at University of Sewanee. His name is Joe Monty and he once told a class that "Jesus is nothing but a bag of bones rotting outside of Jerusalem."
He is still a professor there...which makes me think that the University might be funded by the Satan as well.

9:42 PM  
Blogger Ma Beck said...

Danny,
That makes me ill.
My niece is a Rhodes scholar graduate of Sewanee.
Greaaaat.

11:04 AM  
Blogger RyanL said...

Your Infernal Nastiness,

How do you feel about the title "Father of Lies"? Doesn't the enemy teach that all fatherhood is merely a participation in the One True Fatherhood?

Slothfully,
RyanL

P.S., Your Battle Plan has been leaked to the enemy:
http://www.envoymagazine.com/backissues/1.1/janfebart1.html

8:53 AM  
Blogger Deo Gratias said...

Vade retro Satanas,

Je vais parler en français, car selon le confesseur de Padre Pio, le diable n'aime pas que l'on parle français !
Je voulais te dire que j'étais désolé pour ton disque dur qui a "rendu l'âme", et je continuerai à prier en latin et en français, en espérant que ce ne soit pas ton disque dur, qui cette fois-ci, meurt, mais bien plutôt pour que tu laisses tranquille toutes les personnes qui veulent suivre la lumière du Christ ressuscité, vainqueur du mal et des ténèbres !

Avec tout mon rejet,

Dunstan

9:40 AM  
Blogger Ma Beck said...

Seriously, Satan.
This kind of thing is yet another reason why you'll always be second fiddle.
You haven't updated your freekin' blog in forever.
Do you think God ever lets a millisecond go by without devoting care and attention to His 'projects'?
You, on the other hand, treat this like you treat the rest of your endeavors.
Half-heartedly. Non-chalantly.
You rely on stupid humans to do your dirty work, i.e. to put themselves on the road to Hell. And, I grant you, they do a phenomenal job of that, but you could at least feign interest in their demise.
You're like the lazy coworker that walks around boasting, "What are you gonna do? Fire me?"
Yeesh.

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