Thursday, April 06, 2006

Fan Mail

Hello my wonderful minions. My fans send me e-mail from time to time, and I think its nice to answer them every once in a while. If you have any questions for me, feel free to leave them in the comment box. That is, until I get my e-mail account linked to this thing.

Dark Lord,
I found your blog on a Catholic Website. Aren't you worried that Catholics are going to be able to track your every move?

Catherine D.
Skokie, IL

Thanks a lot Catherine. I am aware of the Catholic presence on this blog. I was actually worried about that when I started this thing. Then I figured that since I own most of the mainstream media anyways, and they are all quite on top of that, that this couldn't hurt. Thanks for your concern.

Your evilness,

Do you play baseball in Hell? Who do you think will win the world series this year?

Donovan Lewis

Your Stupidness,
Did you make that Title up? What are you thinking?

Yes. I do play baseball down here. In fact, one of the only things that give the damned a break is when my minions and I are playing ball. I hit in the three hole. Since I'm a righty, I'm pretty good at pulling things to the left. In fact, pulling things to the left is what I do best. Evidence of this is the democratic party.

The Tigers will win the world series this year...

HAHAHAHAHA. Had you going, didn't I Donovan. My favorite team will be winning the World Series. That team is, of course, the Yankees!


I notice your favorite movie is Brokeback Mountain. Were you mad that this film didn't win best picture?

St. Louis

Kevin. Bonus points for using a cool title, but from now on, if you ever write me again, please refer to your town as Louis. Having towns beginning with the S word doesn't exactly make me happy. By the way, that arch thing you guys have in Louis is pretty cool.

You might be surprised that I wasn't mad this film didn't win best picture. In fact, I'm quite pleased it did not win best picture. Why? Because the makers of this film completely snubbed me at the Golden Globes. They thanked almost everyone that helped make this film possible. But they forgot me! I've been working on this thing since Sodom and Gemorrah. Thats how much dedication I had on it. Then, those jerks, go ahead and pretend like it was their idea. I was happy enough that a film by a Scientologist won. Yup, the maker of CRASH is into that stuff. Plus, his other film, Million Dollar Baby, won in 2005. I still haven't come down from that high yet.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right on man. Right on!
An approach to consider. I'm gonna ponder over it.
In the mean time, God bless...OOPS
I mean, have a nice day!
Great idea :) Keep up the bad work ;)

3:07 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

You horrible thing.

I hope you blog often so all your evil ways will be exposed.

Have an awful day. ;)

5:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So who's your favorite 20th century pope?

10:54 AM  
Blogger Marina said...

This blog is hilarious, and I love the commentary. I love the satire, and yet, I am sure the response back will be: "Satire? Did you notice that is Satan + ire? Satire? Duh!"

3:06 PM  
Anonymous Pam said...

Dark Lord of the Choir Chamber,

Well, congrats! In all honesty, I am not your biggest fan...if fact you disgust me! However, I do have to admit, that when it comes to your musical have succeeded in being label a "Traditional Catholic Hymn Writer".....oh sure, you hide your talents, behind other peoples, you, sly devil, you!

I just thought I'd drop you a line, and let you know....that I am not falling for it! So while other poor misguided fools are singing your "liturgical tunes", I will be praying and adoring God!


P.S. Just what do you have against the organ anyway, do you get a kick back from Casio?

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