Friday, March 31, 2006

Attacking the Liturgy

I picked a hell of a week (no pun intended) to start this blog.Fruits of my labors are wreaking havoc on the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress, Always one of my favorite annual events, right up there with the National NARAL convention and the Ayn Rand festival. Not only has it become a bastion of heterodoxy, but their liturgy even makes me want to puke. Me! Satan! Since I'm into bad taste, and causing humans to have bad taste, its right up my alley. Every year this happens, I get a hint of how I'm destroying the church.

Check out the female altar servers. One of my greatest inventions yet. Want to see vocations plummet in your diocese? Put in female altar servers!

Take a look at this one. Jesus built a hierarchical Church, which used to be expressed through the architectural design of the Church. No hierarchy here! Just what I need! They can’t even tell which Liturgical Season it is! Its lent, no wait, the feast of a martyr, no wait, its easter, no wait it’s a Mahoney invented season of yellowness! Hahaha.
HEIL MAHONEY! I'm awesome.
Oh brother. You know, its not like liturgical dance is bad…But it just looks so bad! PERFECT! Seriously, I’m a frickin genius. 2000 years of beauty comes crashing to a halt by leotards and interperative dance. Didn't he give you guys ears so you wouldn't have to do stuff like this?
Pretty soon I'm gonna convince them to get rid of Mass at this thing, so they don't exclude any non Catholics at this annual Catholic event.


Blogger Thomas said...

You suck. I'm against everything you stand for.

Hey, can you introduce me to one of the altar server girls?

11:41 PM  
Blogger Soshersas said...

Interesting, but I suspect that you are confused about which side you are on. There is no doubt about where the devil can be found. Check out my blog and the truth becomes abundantly clear:

2:37 PM  
Blogger Satan said...

Sweet! An Ally! You aren't quite on my side, but I'll take it.


7:39 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

That goshen blog has to be a parody. Every bad joke-ish myth about Catholicism, all in one place!

You should list him as an ally. And I hope to be listed as an enemy.

8:25 AM  
Blogger malleebull said...

I laughed.

I think you're quite witty. Having David Hass and Marty Haugen as your favourite music [?]...I don't know if you are actually being serious...or out to shock all those far right Catholic bloggers who are all probably member of the Moritorium Against Haugen and Haas [that is such an annoying and futile website!]

If this is Hell...I think I'm in Heaven. ;-)

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