Friday, March 31, 2006

Attacking the Liturgy

I picked a hell of a week (no pun intended) to start this blog.Fruits of my labors are wreaking havoc on the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress, Always one of my favorite annual events, right up there with the National NARAL convention and the Ayn Rand festival. Not only has it become a bastion of heterodoxy, but their liturgy even makes me want to puke. Me! Satan! Since I'm into bad taste, and causing humans to have bad taste, its right up my alley. Every year this happens, I get a hint of how I'm destroying the church.

Check out the female altar servers. One of my greatest inventions yet. Want to see vocations plummet in your diocese? Put in female altar servers!

Take a look at this one. Jesus built a hierarchical Church, which used to be expressed through the architectural design of the Church. No hierarchy here! Just what I need! They can’t even tell which Liturgical Season it is! Its lent, no wait, the feast of a martyr, no wait, its easter, no wait it’s a Mahoney invented season of yellowness! Hahaha.
HEIL MAHONEY! I'm awesome.
Oh brother. You know, its not like liturgical dance is bad…But it just looks so bad! PERFECT! Seriously, I’m a frickin genius. 2000 years of beauty comes crashing to a halt by leotards and interperative dance. Didn't he give you guys ears so you wouldn't have to do stuff like this?
Pretty soon I'm gonna convince them to get rid of Mass at this thing, so they don't exclude any non Catholics at this annual Catholic event.

From the Depths...

Hey everyone!

Broadband finally made it down here to connect my T1. Jerks.

Anyways, from here, the depths of hell, I will keep you up to date on most of my struggles to destroy the kingdom of He who should not be named and his feeble Church. Hopefully my writing skills will improve to make it as funny as possible. In the meantime keep up to date on my homepage called Planned Parenthood.

Oh...And of course...always pay attention to what the enemy is up to here.

Thank you